Posts Tagged → way

the proper conduct of relationships

majeed badizadegan

 

In relationships,

desires lead to misfortune.

Behave with discipline

and balance.

 

Kuei Mei is concerned with the guidelines for the proper conduct of relationships, whether they be social, romantic, or work related. The image here is of thunder roiling the surface of a lake, and it suggests that relationships can be disturbing to our peace of mind unless they are established and governed under proper principles.

The nature of relationships is that they lead us into the desire state: we begin to desire another, desire recognition, desire retribution, desire a particular outcome in a given situation. All of these desires lead us away from the equanimity that we aim to maintain as students of the I Ching. This hexagram often comes as a sign that you are in danger of sacrificing your composure in an effort to affect a relationship.

When someone does not treat you as you would like, you are faced with a choice as to what to do. While it may be tempting to abandon the relationship in anger or act aggressively to produce a result, neither of these is consistent with proper principles.

You are counseled instead to return to inner independence, acceptance, modestly, and gentleness. The greatest influence is always had through inner discipline and balance; less subtle measures may produce more immediate results, but they are seldom lasting.

This hexagram also teaches us that rushing into a relationship, rushing to resolve a relationship, or rushing to escape a relationship are all akin to rushing on ice: each invites a panful fall. Seek to establish relationships slowly and on proper principles, to allow them to evolve naturally, and to resolve disputes with patience and reserve.

If your primary relationship — that with the Sage — is open and ongoing and devoted, then all other relationships will fall into place.

 

The I Ching, or Book of Changes

Hexagram 54, Kuei Mei / The Marrying Maiden

ebooks & apps of the Tao the Ching, I Ching,

Wei wu Wei Ching, Hua hu Ching, and

Art of War for iPad/Phone, Kindle,

Nook, or Android

 

You

can now buy

the I Ching as part of a

five-app bundle of Taoist classics 

for iPhone or iPad for less than

the cost of one hardcover

book.

brian browne walker taoist app bundle ios ipad iphone

 

with each step, a flower blooms

blossoms

 
A lot

of unimportant inner

litter and bits and pieces have

to be swept out first. Even a small head

can be piled high inside with irrelevant distractions.

True, there may be edifying emotions and thoughts, too, but

the clutter is ever present. So let this be the aim of the meditation:

to turn one’s innermost being into a vast empty plain, with none

of that treacherous undergrowth to impede the view. So that

something of “God” can enter you, and something of “Love,”

too. Not the kind of love-de-luxe that you can revel in

deliciously for half an hour, taking pride in

how sublime you feel, but the love

you can apply to small,

everyday things.
 

…

 

Looked

at Japanese prints

with Glassner this afternoon.

That’s how I want to write. With that much

space round a few words. They should simply emphasize

the silence. Just like that print with the sprig of blossom in the

lower corner. A few delicate brush strokes—but with what attention

to the smallest detail—and all around it space, not empty but inspired.

The few great things that matter in life can be said in a few words.

If I should ever write—but what?—I would like to brush in a

few words against a wordless background. To describe

the silence and the stillness and to inspire them.

What matters is the right relationship between

words and wordlessness, the wordlessness

in which much more happens than

in all the words one can

string together.

 

Etty Hillesum

 

The mind

can go in a thousand

directions, but on this beautiful

path, I walk in peace. With each step,

the wind blows. With each step,

a flower blooms.

 

Thich Nhat Hanh

 

the wise person teaches by example

ieshia evans

 

When people

find one thing beautiful,

another consequently becomes ugly.

When one man is held up as good,

another is judged

deficient.

 

Similarly, being and

non-being balance each other;

difficult and easy define each other;

long and short illustrate each other;

high and low rest upon each other;

voice and song meld into harmony;

what is to come follows upon

what has been.

 

The wise person

acts without effort and teaches

by quiet example. She accepts things as they

come, creates without possessing, nourishes without

demanding, accomplishes without taking credit.

Because she constantly forgets herself,

she is never forgotten.

 

The Tao te Ching of Lao Tzu,

Chapter 2

 

ebooks & apps of the Tao the Ching, I Ching,

Wei wu Wei Ching, Hua hu Ching, and

Art of War for iPad/Phone, Kindle,

Nook, or Android

 

You

can now buy

Tao te Ching as part of a

five-app bundle of Taoist classics 

for iPhone or iPad for less than

the cost of one hardcover

book.

brian browne walker taoist app bundle ios ipad iphone

 

a change in attitude delivers you

concentrate on the way

 

A change in attitude

delivers you from

difficulties.

 
The hexagram Hsieh signals the beginning of a deliverance from danger, tensions, and difficulty. The I Ching instructs you here on both the cause of deliverance and how you must act in order to fully benefit from it.

Deliverance is always caused by a change in our attitude. The Higher Power uses conflicts and obstacles to teach us lessons that we refuse to learn in an easier way, but they only darken our doorstep until we have acknowledged the lesson. So long as we ignore or resist difficulty it remains our constant companion; as soon as we accept its presence as a sign that some self-correction is needed, our deliverance begins. Truly, the only way to dispel trouble and regain peace of mind is to change our attitude.

The I Ching also teaches us that we have several responsibilities once our deliverance begins. The first is to forgive the misdeeds of others. The image of the hexagram is that of a powerful rainstorm washing away what is unclean. This, then, is a time to clean every slate and begin anew, meeting others halfway with gentleness and patience.

Next, we are advised to restore our inner balance and see that it is maintained. Deliverance offers us a return to equanimity, and we must avail ourselves of the opportunity conscientiously. Finally, we are counseled not to try to force progress, even though the time is beneficial. If we have truly changed our attitude, we have become detached, innocent, modest, and accepting. In this state we allow progress to unfold naturally according to the will of the Sage.
 

from The I Ching, or Book of Changes

Hexagram 40, Hsieh / Deliverance

 

ebooks & apps of the Tao the Ching, I Ching,

Hua hu Ching, Wei wu Wei Ching,

Art of War for iPad, Phone,

Kindle, Nook, or

Android

 

can now buy

the I Ching as part of a

five-app bundle of Taoist classics 

for iPhone or iPad for less than

the cost of one hardcover

book.

brian browne walker taoist app bundle ios ipad iphone