Posts Tagged → love

the proper conduct of relationships

majeed badizadegan

 

In relationships,

desires lead to misfortune.

Behave with discipline

and balance.

 

Kuei Mei is concerned with the guidelines for the proper conduct of relationships, whether they be social, romantic, or work related. The image here is of thunder roiling the surface of a lake, and it suggests that relationships can be disturbing to our peace of mind unless they are established and governed under proper principles.

The nature of relationships is that they lead us into the desire state: we begin to desire another, desire recognition, desire retribution, desire a particular outcome in a given situation. All of these desires lead us away from the equanimity that we aim to maintain as students of the I Ching. This hexagram often comes as a sign that you are in danger of sacrificing your composure in an effort to affect a relationship.

When someone does not treat you as you would like, you are faced with a choice as to what to do. While it may be tempting to abandon the relationship in anger or act aggressively to produce a result, neither of these is consistent with proper principles.

You are counseled instead to return to inner independence, acceptance, modestly, and gentleness. The greatest influence is always had through inner discipline and balance; less subtle measures may produce more immediate results, but they are seldom lasting.

This hexagram also teaches us that rushing into a relationship, rushing to resolve a relationship, or rushing to escape a relationship are all akin to rushing on ice: each invites a panful fall. Seek to establish relationships slowly and on proper principles, to allow them to evolve naturally, and to resolve disputes with patience and reserve.

If your primary relationship — that with the Sage — is open and ongoing and devoted, then all other relationships will fall into place.

 

The I Ching, or Book of Changes

Hexagram 54, Kuei Mei / The Marrying Maiden

 

Wei wu Wei Ching 54  ☯️  returning to innocence

 

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the way is without words

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In its essence,

the Way is without words.

All this talking and pointing

and carrying on, only signposts.

Gather too many of them

and they’ll weigh you

down. Just be

silent.

 

Wei wu Wei Ching, Chapter 58

 

Stop searching for

phrases and chasing after words.

Take the backward step and turn the light inward.

Your body-mind of itself will drop off and your

original face will appear. If you want

to attain just this, immediately

practice just this.

 

Dogen

 

to practice wholeheartedly


 

Don’t be concerned

with who is wise and who is stupid.

Do not discriminate the sharp from the dull.

To practice whole-heartedly is the true endeavor of the way.

Practice-realization is not defiled with specialness;

it is a matter for every day.

 

Dogen

 

Be the same

all the way through:

quiet, still, at home. In the

absence of mind, all phenomena

can be seen for what they

are — empty. This is

freedom.

 

Wei wu Wei Ching, Chapter 26

 

the i ching, hexagram 26 ☯️ taming power of the great

 

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welcoming flies at the picnic


mighty joe henry

 

I don’t call

any song finished if I don’t

think that it somehow is vibrating with

the awareness of how we live in spite of the inevitable.

Which is what all spirituality is, is how do we come into being,

how do we live fully in the constant, conscious knowledge

that we won’t always? How do you invest in the idea

of any real commitment in the face of

everything being finite?

 

…We’re sort of

seduced into thinking that here’s life,

and there’s these bad things that can happen,

obstacles that just fall into your road, as if the obstacle

is not the road. You know? We want to think that all things

being equal, we should be content all the time, and would

be, except for these pesky flies that want to ruin

every picnic. As if that isn’t what

the picnic is.

 

Joe Henry

 

❤️

have a listen to

Welcoming Flies at the Picnic,

it will gladden your

💜

 

there is some sort of spirit

right where you stand

 

We sense that

there is some sort of spirit

that loves birds and animals and the ants —

perhaps the same one who gave a radiance to you

in your mother’s womb. Is it logical you would be walking

around entirely orphaned now? The truth is you turned away

yourself, and decided to go into the dark alone. Now you

are tangled up in others, and have forgotten what

you once knew, and that’s why everything

you do has some weird

failure in it.

 

Kabir

and here