Posts Tagged → love

the proper conduct of relationships

majeed badizadegan

 

In relationships,

desires lead to misfortune.

Behave with discipline

and balance.

 

Kuei Mei is concerned with the guidelines for the proper conduct of relationships, whether they be social, romantic, or work related. The image here is of thunder roiling the surface of a lake, and it suggests that relationships can be disturbing to our peace of mind unless they are established and governed under proper principles.

The nature of relationships is that they lead us into the desire state: we begin to desire another, desire recognition, desire retribution, desire a particular outcome in a given situation. All of these desires lead us away from the equanimity that we aim to maintain as students of the I Ching. This hexagram often comes as a sign that you are in danger of sacrificing your composure in an effort to affect a relationship.

When someone does not treat you as you would like, you are faced with a choice as to what to do. While it may be tempting to abandon the relationship in anger or act aggressively to produce a result, neither of these is consistent with proper principles.

You are counseled instead to return to inner independence, acceptance, modestly, and gentleness. The greatest influence is always had through inner discipline and balance; less subtle measures may produce more immediate results, but they are seldom lasting.

This hexagram also teaches us that rushing into a relationship, rushing to resolve a relationship, or rushing to escape a relationship are all akin to rushing on ice: each invites a panful fall. Seek to establish relationships slowly and on proper principles, to allow them to evolve naturally, and to resolve disputes with patience and reserve.

If your primary relationship — that with the Sage — is open and ongoing and devoted, then all other relationships will fall into place.

 

The I Ching, or Book of Changes

Hexagram 54, Kuei Mei / The Marrying Maiden

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with each step, a flower blooms

blossoms

 
A lot

of unimportant inner

litter and bits and pieces have

to be swept out first. Even a small head

can be piled high inside with irrelevant distractions.

True, there may be edifying emotions and thoughts, too, but

the clutter is ever present. So let this be the aim of the meditation:

to turn one’s innermost being into a vast empty plain, with none

of that treacherous undergrowth to impede the view. So that

something of “God” can enter you, and something of “Love,”

too. Not the kind of love-de-luxe that you can revel in

deliciously for half an hour, taking pride in

how sublime you feel, but the love

you can apply to small,

everyday things.
 

…

 

Looked

at Japanese prints

with Glassner this afternoon.

That’s how I want to write. With that much

space round a few words. They should simply emphasize

the silence. Just like that print with the sprig of blossom in the

lower corner. A few delicate brush strokes—but with what attention

to the smallest detail—and all around it space, not empty but inspired.

The few great things that matter in life can be said in a few words.

If I should ever write—but what?—I would like to brush in a

few words against a wordless background. To describe

the silence and the stillness and to inspire them.

What matters is the right relationship between

words and wordlessness, the wordlessness

in which much more happens than

in all the words one can

string together.

 

Etty Hillesum

 

The mind

can go in a thousand

directions, but on this beautiful

path, I walk in peace. With each step,

the wind blows. With each step,

a flower blooms.

 

Thich Nhat Hanh

 

the kingship of the dervish

patch-robed monks

 

Fleeting time

and the changes of matter

make all the kings of the earth but

transitory kings, ruling over transitory kingdoms;

this is because of their dependence upon their environment

instead of their imagination. But the kingship of the dervish,

independent of all external influences, based purely on

his mental perception and strengthened by the forces

of his will, is much truer and at once unlimited

and everlasting. Yet in the materialistic view

his kingdom would appear as nothing,

while in the spiritual conception

it is an immortal and

exquisite realm

of joy.

 

Hazrat Inayat Khan

there is one clear truth


 

Anyone

can say anything.

Eyes look without obstruction,

And the nose, it sniffs everything.

Legs go where they want to.  Hands reach.

The mind respects nothing.  Even the heart

Is unsure where to stand.  This is how

Things are.  Is something missing?

A human being can walk in different ways,

Deliberately, as though going somewhere,

Or strolling with no purpose, or marching,

Or limping, or pretending to be a gorilla

With arms hanging down.

He or she can curse you or trust you, comfort you,

Or act without considering anything or anyone.

Truth and lies, both glitter in the eyes.

He or she can hear and enjoy and embrace

The language coming in, but to understand everything

With divine wisdom is hard.

There is one clear truth, the pure loving.

When people do not have that, they are

Disconnected.  Words are just words,

And good actions are done for wrong reasons.

Paint on a red dot like the dancing Shiva,

But if you don’t know how to open your heart

With modesty, dignity, and respect for others,

It’s just collecting more honors and robes.

It’s easy to explain the condition of being human,

What’s missing and what’s here, but if

You don’t know God exists,

It’s foolishness.

To know this and act accordingly is difficult.

Saying the words is easy.

                        

Bawa Muhaiyaddeen