Author Archives → Brian

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I did not write,

but do wholeheartedly endorse, this.

It appeared on the same website where I wrote

the beloved treatise🦋. I respected its wisdom,

made a copy in case the Library of Alexandria was

ever burned, it was, and here it is. May the

revolving swallow live in eternity. 

Love is at or near the center

of spiritual life.

 

How to Properly Suck Cock

Here’s the technique for 100% hands-free operation (classic “pure” oral sex on a man — none of that cheating with a handjob crap):

First, you must learn to deepthroat at will.  This by itself is beyond the capabilities of most females (and many males) — even ones who like to claim they are “good at giving head,” but it is an essential foundation and the first real step to achieving world-class skill.  It is not just enough to be able to cram the erect penis down your throat; rather, you need to be able to suppress your gag reflex sufficiently in order to slide it smoothly down your throat (forcing it a bit if need be, but not overmuch), keep your teeth away from the shaft, and hold it there for as long as necessary, while continuing to breathe through your nose.  

Doing this requires consistent focus and practice.  You can practice using dildos or, if you have a well-endowed partner with strong staying power, a live specimen.  Start with a member of moderate length and practice until you can handle one of considerably larger-than-average size.  Men’s penises come in a variety of length, girth, and curvatures.  One day, when you meet the stallion you like, I guarantee you will want to be capable of doing this for him (else he may leave you for another who can), and preparation and training is the only way to ensure that you’ll be ready for that special man.

Once you have established a foundation of smooth, gagless deepthroating that you can maintain at will, you are ready to add the stimulation.  The key idea is to deepthroat your partner completely, and then use all available musculature to simulate the best features of the female vagina and anus.  This includes throat, tongue, and lips:

  • Throat: Your earlier, initial insertions should have resulted in considerable salivation and other mucousal lubrication having made its way down your throat, thus coating the penis.  This should allow you to massage the penis with your throat via repeated swallowing motions.  Again, being able to do this depends on your having trained away your gag reflex, as you will essentially be repeatedly triggering it.
  • Tongue: Lay the entire length of your tongue against the underside of the penis, and then extend it outward as far as possible.  If you are in an upright position (i.e. not in a 69 position), you should be able to extend it enough to press against the front of the man’s scrotum.  If you are blessed with a wider tongue, feel free to curl it up at the edges to wrap further around the penis.  Proceed to make the extending and contracting motions with your tongue that you naturally do while swallowing.  This will stimulate the entire remaining length of the penis with the rough surface of your tongue.  Together with the swallowing action of your throat, this will result in a full-member sucking/massage sensation that fully envelopes his penis like a vagina but with much more stimulation.
  • Lips: While you are swallowing with your throat and tongue, wrap your lips securely (while keeping your teeth out of the way) around the base of his shaft and use them to actively “kiss” him, as though you are trying to pull him further into you.  This simulates the tight “sucking” sensation of the outer anal sphincter during anal sex, while your tongue (which should still be repeatedly extending outwards) adds an extra sensory dimension not felt with vaginal or anal penetration.

Now that you’ve established what all the parts are doing, you can optionally add the thrusting.  The friction from thrusting in your throat will also serve to churn up additional saliva and mucous, helping you to maintain lubrication in your throat for the swallowing actions.  The depth and rhythm of the thrusting will depend on the preferences of your partner, as well as the stage of the blowjob.  Some men simply like to be held deep inside your throat while you suck-massage an orgasm out of them, others appreciate some thrusting, with the throat-tongue-lips action done in sync to the thrusts.  As well, it will also depend on the individual whether you should speed up or slow down as the climax approaches.  It should take only a little bit of experimentation to find out what your man prefers, and once you have taken him completely inside and he sees how “receptive” your throat is, he will probably begin thrusting of his own accord.

Lastly, what do you do with your hands?  It’s cheating to use your hands as a “tunnel-extender” or to basically handjob him — the worst kind of fake blowjob expertise is the woman who only holds the head of a penis in her mouth, flicking her tongue against the underside while giving the man a pathetic handjob.  What you really do with your hands, of course, is either masturbate — if you feel like you can do so without it interfering with your technique — or stick a finger or two in his ass and massage his prostate.  If he’s too insecure for this last bit, he doesn’t deserve you.

Pro-tip: as he climaxes and immediately afterwards, you don’t necessarily need to let up or even stop.  This is a good technique for ensuring that you drain him completely, and you can even continue suck-massaging his penis in-situ while he softens and, after a few minutes, eventually cause him to re-harden for another round.

All of this takes quite a bit of practice but once you master it, your man will never have another lover who can match you.

life is short and the world is at least half terrible

great white shark seal
 

Life is short,

though I keep this from my children.

Life is short, and I’ve shortened mine

in a thousand delicious, ill-advised ways,

a thousand deliciously ill-advised ways

I’ll keep from my children. The world is at least

fifty percent terrible, and that’s a conservative

estimate, though I keep this from my children.

For every bird there is a stone thrown at a bird.

For every loved child, a child broken, bagged,

sunk in a lake. Life is short and the world

is at least half terrible, and for every kind

stranger, there is one who would break you,

though I keep this from my children. I am trying

to sell them the world. Any decent realtor,

walking you through a real shithole, chirps on

about good bones: This place could be beautiful,

right? You could make this place

beautiful.

 

Maggie Smith