The blog of BRIAN BROWNE WALKER

In relationships,

desires lead to misfortune.

Behave with discipline

and balance.

Kuei Mei is concerned with the guidelines for the proper conduct of relationships, whether they be social, romantic, or work related. The image here is of thunder roiling the surface of a lake, and it suggests that relationships can be disturbing to our peace of mind unless they are established and governed under proper principles.

The nature of relationships is that they lead us into the desire state: we begin to desire another, desire recognition, desire retribution, desire a particular outcome in a given situation. All of these desires lead us away from the equanimity that we aim to maintain as students of the I Ching. This hexagram often comes as a sign that you are in danger of sacrificing your composure in an effort to affect a relationship.

When someone does not treat you as you would like, you are faced with a choice as to what to do. While it may be tempting to abandon the relationship in anger or act aggressively to produce a result, neither of these is consistent with proper principles.

You are counseled instead to return to inner independence, acceptance, modestly, and gentleness. The greatest influence is always had through inner discipline and balance; less subtle measures may produce more immediate results, but they are seldom lasting.

This hexagram also teaches us that rushing into a relationship, rushing to resolve a relationship, or rushing to escape a relationship are all akin to rushing on ice: each invites a panful fall. Seek to establish relationships slowly and on proper principles, to allow them to evolve naturally, and to resolve disputes with patience and reserve.

If your primary relationship — that with the Sage — is open and ongoing and devoted, then all other relationships will fall into place.

The I Ching, or Book of Changes

Hexagram 54, Kuei Mei / The Marrying Maiden

Wei wu Wei Ching 54 ☯️ returning to innocence

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seeds of realization

Seek union with others

and with the Sage.

“Holding together”

denotes a time for creating union

with others in order to complement and assist

one another, just as the rain complements and assists

the earth, which is an image often associated with

this hexagram. In order for your unions to bear

the greatest possible fruit, certain

requirements must

be met.

The first

requirement for holding

together with others is that we hold

together with our own inner truth. This means

that we adhere to proper principles as a matter of habit,

striving always to remain innocent, balanced, and

correct. In short, marry the Sage first and

faithfully, and good fortune will

come to all subsequent

marriages.

The second

requirement for holding

together with others is that we

steadfastly resist the clamoring of

the emotional inferiors within. Every union

meets with challenges, and if we are not resolute

against the effects of fear, doubt, despair, and anger,

no lasting success will be possible in any relationship.

This is a good time to ask yourself if you are

displaying the steadfast correctness and

strength of character that are

at the heart of all great

unions.

Finally,

it is the responsibility

of one who would unite to see

that it is possible for others to enjoy union

as well. The desire for community is deeply felt by

all humans, and it is the shared responsibility of all those

on the higher path to make some sort of “family”

available to those in need. In doing this,

we pay homage to

the Sage.

The I Ching, or Book of Changes

Hexagram 8, Pi / Holding Together