the proper basis for relationships

In fellowship with others,
embody the principles of the Sage.

This hexagram addresses the proper basis for relationships with others. It generally comes as a sign that some kind of self-correction is in order in this arena.

Proper relationships, whether in love, work, family, or friendship, must be founded on and conducted under proper principles in order to succeed. Our model for how to behave with others is the Sage: in relating we are obliged to practice kindness, humility, correctness, equanimity, and openness. Wherever we depart from these we lose the aid of the Higher Power and risk and encounter with misfortune.

The fundamental rule of the I Ching for the conduct of relationships is that they take place in the open. This means that every facet of a relationship should be seen as fair and correct by everyone concerned, not just yourself. It also means that it is improper to enter into or continue in relationships with unspoken reservations or hidden intentions.

Exceptional things can be accomplished by those who come together correctly in fellowship now under the guidance of an enlightened leader or leaders. Seek that role by patterning yourself after the Sage. Meet others halfway in a spirit of sincerity and receptivity. Give trust where it is due; where it is not, do not resort to harshness – reserve and reticence are adequate measures. Avoid the formation of factions and cliques, and correct your errors in relationships as soon as you become aware of them. In this way you can accomplish magnificent deeds now.

The I Ching, or Book of Changes

Hexagram 13, T’ung Jen / Fellowship with Others

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adversity is a stimulant to our growth

remain free and uninvolved

Do not attempt to intervene now.

A period has been entered when inferior influences will prevail. Even a superior person who seeks to act now will be undermined by the time. There is no reason to resist this state of affairs; indeed, it is natural that the inferior elements periodically come to the fore. Adversity is often a stimulant to our spiritual growth, and what is important is the spirit in which we meet it.

When challenging situations come to call, we are often overwhelmed with feelings of anxiety, doubt, and fear. We fear that if we do not act immediately and vigorously, we will be ruined, we doubt the power of the Creative to resolve the situation favorably.

It is when we act upon these feelings that we engage in “splitting apart”: we split apart from our spiritual path, our devotion to the Higher Power, and the wisdom of patient nonaction in the face of difficulty. If you take this course now, you will prevent the Creative from coming to your aid and unnecessarily increase your own misfortune.

The guide to proper behavior at such times lies in the image of the hexagram, which is “mountain over earth”. By keeping as still and quiet as a mountain, by resting firmly on your foundation of proper principles, by accepting the nature of the time and not resisting it, you weather all storms. By trusting in nonaction, acceptance, and patience, you gain the strength of the very earth.