the proper conduct of relationships

In relationships,

desires lead to misfortune.

Behave with discipline

and balance.

Kuei Mei is concerned with the guidelines for the proper conduct of relationships, whether they be social, romantic, or work related. The image here is of thunder roiling the surface of a lake, and it suggests that relationships can be disturbing to our peace of mind unless they are established and governed under proper principles.

The nature of relationships is that they lead us into the desire state: we begin to desire another, desire recognition, desire retribution, desire a particular outcome in a given situation. All of these desires lead us away from the equanimity that we aim to maintain as students of the I Ching. This hexagram often comes as a sign that you are in danger of sacrificing your composure in an effort to affect a relationship.

When someone does not treat you as you would like, you are faced with a choice as to what to do. While it may be tempting to abandon the relationship in anger or act aggressively to produce a result, neither of these is consistent with proper principles.

You are counseled instead to return to inner independence, acceptance, modestly, and gentleness. The greatest influence is always had through inner discipline and balance; less subtle measures may produce more immediate results, but they are seldom lasting.

This hexagram also teaches us that rushing into a relationship, rushing to resolve a relationship, or rushing to escape a relationship are all akin to rushing on ice: each invites a panful fall. Seek to establish relationships slowly and on proper principles, to allow them to evolve naturally, and to resolve disputes with patience and reserve.

If your primary relationship — that with the Sage — is open and ongoing and devoted, then all other relationships will fall into place.

The I Ching, or Book of Changes

Hexagram 54, Kuei Mei / The Marrying Maiden

Wei wu Wei Ching 54 ☯️ returning to innocence

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the way is without words

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In its essence,

the Way is without words.

All this talking and pointing

and carrying on, only signposts.

Gather too many of them

and they’ll weigh you

down. Just be

silent.

Wei wu Wei Ching, Chapter 58

Stop searching for

phrases and chasing after words.

Take the backward step and turn the light inward.

Your body-mind of itself will drop off and your

original face will appear. If you want

to attain just this, immediately

practice just this.

Dogen

an outpouring of benevolent energy

to the surfers who saved my life

If you are alert to the Creative,

you will meet with good

fortune now.

This hexagram signals a time when the fundamental creative power of the universe is available to you. An unrestricted outpouring of benevolent energy from the heavens makes possible profound progress for those who are conscientiously following proper principles.

Frantic activity is not in order. Your responsibility instead is to be open and receptive to the Higher Power, allowing it to guide your actions. By allowing inferior thoughts and habits to pass away, you make room for an expansion of your superior qualities, which leads inevitably to good fortune.

In your conduct with others, embody tolerance, reticence, and gentleness. Strive to meet others halfway in every situation. To overextend yourself, or require that of another, is to create an undesirable imbalance.

Your attitude toward the Sage is most important. Alertness and receptiveness are paramount. To receive the powerful assistance of the Creative, remain humble, patient, accepting, and responsive. Careful attention to truth brings vast rewards at this time.

The I Ching, or Book of Changes

Hexagram 1, Ch’ien / The Creative

FOURTH LINE

A place of transition. There is

the possibility of progress in many directions.
Let go of preconceived notions about your proper path.
You succeed by allowing the Creative to guide you.

further guidance from

wei wu wei ching chapter 1 ☯️ the way to enlightenment