the proper basis for relationships

ryan and alex

 

In fellowship with others,
embody the principles of the Sage.

 
This hexagram addresses the proper basis for relationships with others. It generally comes as a sign that some kind of self-correction is in order in this arena.

Proper relationships, whether in love, work, family, or friendship, must be founded on and conducted under proper principles in order to succeed. Our model for how to behave with others is the Sage: in relating we are obliged to practice kindness, humility, correctness, equanimity, and openness. Wherever we depart from these we lose the aid of the Higher Power and risk and encounter with misfortune.

The fundamental rule of the I Ching for the conduct of relationships is that they take place in the open. This means that every facet of a relationship should be seen as fair and correct by everyone concerned, not just yourself. It also means that it is improper to enter into or continue in relationships with unspoken reservations or hidden intentions.

Exceptional things can be accomplished by those who come together correctly in fellowship now under the guidance of an enlightened leader or leaders. Seek that role by patterning yourself after the Sage. Meet others halfway in a spirit of sincerity and receptivity. Give trust where it is due; where it is not, do not resort to harshness – reserve and reticence are adequate measures. Avoid the formation of factions and cliques, and correct your errors in relationships as soon as you become aware of them.  In this way you can accomplish magnificent deeds now.
 

The I Ching, or Book of Changes

Hexagram 13, T’ung Jen / Fellowship with Others

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serve as an example to others

focus

 

You serve

as an example to others by

sacrificing your ego and accepting 

the guidance of the Higher

Power.

 

The hexagram

Ting concerns the nourishment

and guidance one must have in order to fully

succeed. While the culture around us often encourages

us to “take charge” and make aggressive demands on life, the

I Ching offers far wiser counsel. Here we are encouraged

to give up the incessant demands of our ego —  

to deepen our humility and acceptance

and to listen carefully to the

instructions of the

Sage.

 

The image

of the caldron concerns

your inner thoughts: whatever you hold

in the “caldron” of your mind is your offering

to the Higher Power. The quality of assistance you can

receive from the universe is governed by the quality of your

offering. If you constantly indulge in the concerns of the ego —

fears, desires, strategies to control, harshness toward others —

you repel the Higher Power and block your own nourishment.

If, on the other hand, you consciously let go of your

resistance to life and hold quiet and correct

thoughts, you become receptive to the

Creative and your continual

nourishment is

assured.

 

Ting comes

to suggest that the wisest

thing that you can do now is to still

your ego and conscientiously enter into 

conversation with the Sage. To influence others, or to

achieve a proper goal, follow the same path. By cultivating

humility and acceptance, purifying your inner thoughts,

and concentrating on that which is good and innocent

and true, you summon the power of the Creative

and meet with good fortune in

the outer world.

 

from The I Ching, or Book of Changes

Hexagram 50, Ting / The Caldron

 

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possession in great measure

amel bashir taha

 

In the early days

your peace of mind will be challenged.

By maintaining humility, detachment, and alertness

to the approach of evil, you ensure that your

greatest possession endures.

 

first changing line

from The I Ching, or Book of Changes

Hexagram 14, Ta Yu / Possession in Great Measure

 

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there are few that find the path

ernst haas

 

Friend,

please tell me what

I can do about this world I hold to,

and keep spinning out! I gave up sewn clothes,

and wore a robe, but I noticed one day the cloth was

well woven. So I bought some burlap, but I still throw it

elegantly over my shoulder. I pulled back my sexual longings,

and now I discover that I’m angry a lot. I gave up rage, and

now I notice that I am greedy all day. I worked hard at

dissolving my greed, and now I am proud of myself.

When the mind wants to break its link with

the world it still holds on to one thing.

Kabir says: Listen, my friend,

there are very few that

find the path!

 

Kabir

 

accomplish your ends by yielding

kawai gyokudō

 

A great country is like

a low-lying land into which many

streams flow. It draws powerful energies

to it as a receptive woman draws

an eager man.

 

The feminine can always

conquer the masculine by yielding

and taking the lower position. In this way

she becomes as low-lying land:

in time, everything comes

her way.

 

Therefore a great country

can win over a small country by practicing

humility. A small country can also win over

a great country by practicing

humility.

 

One wins by

willingly taking the lower

position. The other wins by

willingly acknowledging

its lower position.

 

The great country

wants to embrace and nourish

more people.The small country wants

to ably serve its benefactor. Both

accomplish their ends

by yielding.

 

The Tao te Ching of Lao Tzu,

Chapter 61

 

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