the proper conduct of relationships

majeed badizadegan

 

In relationships,

desires lead to misfortune.

Behave with discipline

and balance.

 

Kuei Mei is concerned with the guidelines for the proper conduct of relationships, whether they be social, romantic, or work related. The image here is of thunder roiling the surface of a lake, and it suggests that relationships can be disturbing to our peace of mind unless they are established and governed under proper principles.

The nature of relationships is that they lead us into the desire state: we begin to desire another, desire recognition, desire retribution, desire a particular outcome in a given situation. All of these desires lead us away from the equanimity that we aim to maintain as students of the I Ching. This hexagram often comes as a sign that you are in danger of sacrificing your composure in an effort to affect a relationship.

When someone does not treat you as you would like, you are faced with a choice as to what to do. While it may be tempting to abandon the relationship in anger or act aggressively to produce a result, neither of these is consistent with proper principles.

You are counseled instead to return to inner independence, acceptance, modestly, and gentleness. The greatest influence is always had through inner discipline and balance; less subtle measures may produce more immediate results, but they are seldom lasting.

This hexagram also teaches us that rushing into a relationship, rushing to resolve a relationship, or rushing to escape a relationship are all akin to rushing on ice: each invites a panful fall. Seek to establish relationships slowly and on proper principles, to allow them to evolve naturally, and to resolve disputes with patience and reserve.

If your primary relationship — that with the Sage — is open and ongoing and devoted, then all other relationships will fall into place.

 

The I Ching, or Book of Changes

Hexagram 54, Kuei Mei / The Marrying Maiden

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move steadily in a single direction

for the last day of your life

 

Consistent

correctness turns every 

situation to your advantage.

 
The image of this hexagram is that of a gentle wind dispersing storm clouds. A wind that changes direction often, even a very powerful one, will disperse nothing—it only stirs up the sky. The wind that causes real change is the one that blows consistently in the same direction. There is an important lesson for us in this example.

When faced with a difficult problem to resolve or a goal we wish to achieve, we often are tempted to take striking and energetic actions. Though it is possible to achieve temporary results in this fashion, they tend to collapse when we cannot sustain the vigorous effort. More enduring accomplishments are won through gentle but ceaseless penetration, like that of a soft wind blowing steadily in the same direction. The truth of the Sage penetrates to us in this way, and this hexagram comes now to remind you that this is how you should seek to penetrate others.

The advice given to you by the I Ching is threefold. First, establish a clear goal; the wind that continually changes direction has no real effect. Second, apply the principle of gentle penetration to yourself; by eliminating your own inferior qualities you earn an influence over others. Third, avoid aggressive or ambitious maneuvers now; these are rooted in desire and fear and will only serve to block the aid of the Creative. The desirable influence is the one that flows naturally from maintaining a proper attitude.

In your interactions with others, bend like the willow. By remaining adaptable, balanced, accepting, and independent, and by steadily moving in a single direction, you gain the clarity and strength that make possible a series of great successes.
 

from The I Ching, or Book of Changes

Hexagram 57, Sun / The Gentle (The Penetrating Wind)

 

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the transition from chaos to order

konrad wothe

 

The transition

from chaos to order depends

upon your achieving true

inner calm.

 

The image of this hexagram is that of spring, a time when the darkness and decay of winter are about to give way to the light and plenty of summer. The transition is not yet complete; here it depends upon you strengthening your clarity, calm, and conscientiousness.

Wei Chi often comes as an indication that we have not yet achieved a genuine inner equanimity. As long as we respond to outer pressures with our egos—by worrying, desiring, or becoming aggressive—we cannot attain a successful repose. The I Ching reminds us now to abandon the hysterics of the ego in favor of acceptance, modesty, and inner balance.

Wei Chi denotes a time of great responsibility. In a very real sense it can be said that the state of the world depends upon your thoughts and conduct now. The external world will only come into order if the inner world has done so. Therefore, seek now to correct whatever in your self is at odds with the principles of the Sage.

Quiet your ego, make humility and acceptance your primary goals, and move forward like a fox walking on ice: cautiously, deliberately, and gently. By persevering in what is true and good you build the foundation upon which good fortune can come to rest.

 

from The I Ching, or Book of Changes

Hexagram 64, Wei Chi / Before Completion

 

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make enlightenment your standard


 
Fundamentally, this great light is there with each and every person right where they stand — empty clear through, spiritually aware, all-pervasive, it is called the scenery of the fundamental ground.

Sentient beings and buddhas are both inherently equipped with it. It is perfectly fluid and boundless, fusing everything within it. It is within your own heart and is the basis of your physical body and of the five clusters of form, sensation, conception, motivational synthesis, and consciousness. It has never been defiled or stained, and its fundamental nature is still and silent.

False thoughts suddenly arise and cover it over and block it off and confine it within the six sense faculties and sense objects. Sense faculties and sense objects are paired off, and you get stuck and begin clinging and getting attached. You grasp at all the various objects and scenes, and produce all sorts of false thoughts, and sink down into the toils of birth and death, unable to gain liberation.

All the buddhas and ancestral teachers awakened to this true source and penetrated clear through to the fundamental basis. They took pity on all the sentient beings sunken in the cycle of birth and death and were inspired by great compassion, so they appeared in the world precisely for this reason. It was also for this reason that Bodhidharma came from the West with special practice outside of doctrine.

The most important thing is for people of great faculties and sharp wisdom to turn the light of mind around and shine back and clearly awaken to this mind before a single thought is born. This mind can produce all world-transcending and worldly phenomena. When it is forever stamped with enlightenment, your inner heart is independent and transcendent and brimming over with life. As soon as you rouse your conditioned mind and set errant thoughts moving, then you have obscured the fundamental clarity. 

If you want to pass through easily and directly right now, just let your body and mind become thoroughly empty, so it is vacant and silent yet aware and luminous. Inwardly, forget all your conceptions of self, and outwardly, cut off all sensory defilements. When inside and outside are clear all the way through, there is just one true reality. 

…Let no one be deluded about cause and effect. You must realize that the causal basis of hell and heaven is all formed by your own inherent mind. 

You must keep this mind balanced and equanimous, without deluded ideas of self and others, without arbitrary loves and hates, without grasping or rejecting, without notions of gain and loss. Go on gradually nurturing this for a long time, perhaps twenty or thirty years. Whether you encounter favorable or adverse conditions, do not retreat or regress — then when you come to the juncture between life and death, you will naturally be set free and be not afraid. As the saying goes, “Truth requires sudden awakening, but the phenomenal level calls for gradual cultivation.”

I often see those who are trying to study Buddhism just use their worldly intelligence to sift among the verbal teachings of the buddhas and ancestral teacher, trying to pick out especially wondrous sayings to use as conversation pieces to display their ability and understanding. This is not the correct view of the matter. You must abandon your world view and sit quietly with mind silent. Forget entangling causes and investigate with your whole being. When you are thoroughly clear, then whatever you bring forth from your own inexhaustible treasure of priceless jewels is sure to be genuine and real.

So first you must awaken to the Fundamental and clearly see the essence where mind equals buddha. Detach from all false entanglements and become free and clean. After that respectfully practice all forms of good, and arouse great compassion to bring benefits to all sentient beings. In all that you do, be even and balanced and attuned to the inherent equality of all things — be selfless and have no attachments. When wondrous wisdom manifests itself and you penetrate through to the basic essence, all your deeds will be wonder-working. Thus it is said, “Just manage to accept the truth — you won’t be deceived.”

Make enlightenment your standard, and don’t feel bad if it is slow in coming. Take care!
 

Yuanwu

zen letters

🪷

 

good approaches the superior person

electric night, sardinia

 

The

hexagram Lin

signals the approach of

powerful beneficial influences.

Just as the winter solstice heralds the

return of spring, the appearance of this hexagram

marks a similar movement toward light and

growth. Progress and success are

assured now to those who

persevere on the path

of truth.

 

To

maximize

the opportunity implicit

in this moment, it is important to

cultivate a proper attitude. It is easy, during

good times, to relax our inner discipline and fall back

into incorrect thoughts and actions. Allowing one’s ego to take

over in a moment of success is a sure means of ending the

progress that has begun. The growth that is at hand

was made possible by conscientious behavior,

and continuing carefully along that path

is our only means of coming

into full possession

of it.

 

A

steadfast

modesty and acceptance,

whether external conditions are good

or bad, is the mark of the superior person.

In yourself, maintain balance, equanimity, and

humility in times of accomplishment. With

others, remain patient, tolerant, and

gentle. Clinging to those principles

assures you of a time of joy

and prosperity.

 

from The I Ching, or Book of Changes

Hexagram 19, Lin / Approach

 

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