Ebay Community: “Save the whales, support Sea Shepherd!” Omidyars: “Whales, Sea Shepherd can suck our rich balls!”

July 7th, 2010

SAN JOSE, CALIFORNIA –

Following the joyful

announcement on Sunday that its top prize

for favorite non-profit organization had been awarded to

the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society, the Ebay Community was

shocked and disheartened to learn soon after that multi-billionaire Ebay founder

Baron Pierre von Omidyar and his wife the Baroness and Grand Panjandrum

Pamela von Omidyar have been engaged in a months-long effort

to evade lending support to Sea Shepherd as it faces

the most difficult ocean conservation

campaigns in its more than three

decade history.

The Baroness von Omidyar,

reviled in cetacean conservation circles as

“the Whore of Babble-on” for her hypocritical posturing

on ocean issues while amassing a vast string of luxury seaside resorts,

as well as her attempts to strong-arm critics into silence while

simultaneously trumpeting political honesty, transparency,

and openness, has so far refused

to comment.

Her Royal Hiney,

a biologist and surfer, is known

as the mother of the Pam Omidyar Memorial Stump

for her promotion of anesthesia-free

hacksaw amputations in

disaster areas.

Baron von Omidyar,

nicknamed “the coward billionaire”, is said to be

in talks with his close personal friend His Holiness the 14th

Dalai Lama of Tibet about how to

spin the issue.

A new documentary film

entitled “Eat the Rich & Share the Wealth:

The Pam and Pierre Omidyar Story”

is expected to begin lensing

later this summer.