Farmers Insurance CEO Bob Woudstra announces new customer service policy: “We show you our floppy old rumps!”

Farmers

Insurance CEO Bob Woudstra

and his dark German overlord, CEO Manfred Gentz

of Zurich Financial Services, took time out from playing golf in their panties

at a company retreat on Hilton Head Island Monday to announce

a new global customer service initiative. The two call the

program “We show you

our floppy old

rumps!”

“People

are goofy,” said Woudstra

(shown above on left). ”They pay us money

in premiums and think we’re obliged to compensate them when

they have a claim! We show douchewads like that

our floppy old rumps! That’s

our policy!”

“It’s gut, ja?!”,

enthused Gentz (shown at right).

“Zis business, it’s topsy-turvy! We don’t pay ze customers’

claims, but we’ll pay one of ze most expensive law firms in the world

Verrücktesel money to sit around all day

reading a customer’s

book!”

“That,

or we’ll pay them crazy

money just to sit around downloading

pictures of old peoples’ floppy old rumps off a customer’s

website!” snorted the portly Woudstra. ”Absolutely

any old use of money beats paying a

policyholder’s

claim!”

Gentz

giggled maniacally,

“Zis vay ve get to doppelt-bumsen

Sie ze customers! Is no end to ze insurance fun!

Wir zeigen Ihnen unsere schlaffen alten

Hinterteile!”